You don't have to have the same ideas about money for your relationship to work, but if you don't know how to handle your differences, there could be problems.

Opposites attract – so the saying goes – but is that true of the way you handle money? We already know that arguments over money is one of the most common reasons for couples to break up and – although there hasn’t been masses of research into how easy couples find it to talk about finances – the financial regulator (the Financial Services Authority) did look into this subject a few years ago. It found that 75% of couples said that money was the hardest subject to talk about.

Establishing your attitudes to money
If you don’t know what you think about money – never mind your partner’s point of view – start by taking SavvyWoman's Money Quiz. If you already know that you think money is for spending and your partner thinks it’s for saving – or vice versa – the next stage is to work out a way of sorting out your finances so you're both happy.

• Identify your differences. When the recession kicked in, the relationship advice service Relate experienced a sharp increase in the number of couples who wanted counselling where money was a factor in their relationship problems. In a number of cases, the fact that money was tight highlighted problems that the couple had previously been able to spend their way out of.

SAVVY TIP: Having less money can put a huge strain on any relationship, but in some cases it was the first time couples realised they had such different views.

Be prepared to compromise
You don’t have to have identical money management styles for your relationship to thrive (which is probably just as well!). What you need to be able to do is:

• Work out where you’re happy to agree to disagree. Many relationships work – both emotionally and financially – even though both partners have very different money habits.

SAVVY TIP: If you’re the type of person who loves to hit the shops when you have cash to spare whereas your partner likes nothing better than to top up their ISA, it doesn’t have to be a problem. What's important is that you don't resent each other for doing things differently (and that you’re not spending more than you can afford).

• If you find it hard to keep an eye on your spending, why not download a spendometer to your mobile phone, supplied by Moneybasics. If you need help with budgeting, go to SavvyWoman’s budgeting tools where you can download a budget calculator.

• Be prepared to talk about areas you don’t agree on. If you can talk about your differences, it often makes them easier to accept. Many of us get important lessons in money from our parents, even if we don’t realise it, so for example, if you grew up in a household where money was no object, you may find it hard to rein in your spending now. On the other hand, if your parents were often in debt, you may feel insecure unless you have some money in the bank. Understanding the roots of each other's behaviour can make it easier to accept.

SAVVY TIP: Talking about your differences may be easier said than done. Relationship counsellor Denise Knowles, who is on SavvyWoman’s panel of experts, says that a common area of conflict is if one partner thinks their spending is ‘better’ than their partner’s. For example, you may prefer to spend money on doing up your home (and think that buying a new sofa is a necessity when your partner reckons it’s an extravagance), whereas your partner may prioritise their hobby. Denise advises against making judgements about your partner's spending (for example, they may need the time to unwind that they get from their hobby and may simply not share your love affair with soft furnishings!).

• Work out a plan for problem areas in advance. If your partner has a tendency to overspend, make sure you’re not expected to pick up the pieces afterwards.

SAVVY TIP: Don’t agree to keep bailing your partner out every time they get into debt. You should each take responsibility for the financial decisions you make. If your partner has debt problems (even if it’s just a missed or late payment), it could affect your credit score if you have any joint loans.

SAVVY HELP Denise Knowles, a relationship counsellor, is one of SavvyWoman's panel of experts. Why not ask Denise a question about money and relationship issues by clicking here?